When I posed for these pictures in my new cozy red maternity sweater from Gap with the lingering fatigue of a holiday cold, I was overcome with excitement for the future and a little bit of sadness over fleeting time. You see, even though I am exhausted, my face has become plump and ripe and I get more “you’re ready to pop any day now” comments that I’d prefer lately, I am excited to be nearing the final stretch of my pregnancy. The fact that I can now only fit into a select few of my maternity clothes only heightens the excitement that the end is near and soon we will meet our littlest boy. But my excitement is also met with a little melancholy as this is our last planned pregnancy. I hate to say, it’s our last, because well I like to leave options open, but when we talk about our family, we’re pretty set that two children will be enough for us.
So sure, I am not loving my achey hips, slow waddling gait and pudding pie face, but I am trying my hardest to enjoy what may be the last few months I will be pregnant in my life. At 30 weeks, baby is big enough now that I can feel little knees and elbows rolling around when he moves, sweet little hiccups when mommy eats spicy food and the time has come to take out the tiniest and cutest clothes ever made. As I sifted through the hand-me-downs of his big brother the other night, I couldn’t believe that my bouncing three year old was once that tiny and how fast that time passed.
I’ve heard from other moms and read plenty of blog posts to know that your second baby or rather the last baby that is planned for your family is a bitter sweet experience. Instead of rushing through milestones and dreading nighttime feedings, these moms talk about cherishing the moment and wishing for time to slow down. Looking back, as a first time mom I was all about wanting him to meet the next milestone; sleep through the night, wean and walk. But, in hindsight, if I had known how fleeting those sweet quiet moments with him were, I would have savored them just a bit more.
So, this time around, I will do just that, savor the moment. I want to remember the last few tiny kicks I will feel before I get to hold him, the look on big brother’s face when he meets him for the first time, his first smile and all of the tiny grunts and wiggles. Instead of stressing over my to-do list, I will vow to let the dishes wait and to always put my sweet boys first. Time is a gift, that we can’t get back, so even in the most uncomfortable of times, like third trimester pregnancy, I want to be present in the moment and cherish the beauty of every day.
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