Start Moving in a Direction if You Don’t Know Your Goal
by: Dr. Albert Valente
The past several months I have discussed some ideas about getting started and finding some keys to motivation. I shared my thoughts that despite your past “you can only start from where you’re at.” I shared an enlightening encounter with a patient about a key to finding motivation; “place a high value on what you want to achieve and remind yourself the reasons that this is important to you, and your motivation will find you.“ Remember, the more you want to do something the stronger your motivation will be.
Now, I want to briefly explore ‘how’ to get started. Simply, think big but start with small steps. I often hear people talk about great plans and huge goals. Although these are great thoughts overall, setting goals often becomes so big and so overwhelming that one never starts. I respect big thinking as this is actually how I was raised. My father telling my brothers and me repeatedly “that if you think big you’ll be big; if you think small you’ll be small”. But as the saying goes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
The balance I find is actually to encourage my patients to ‘start realistic’. For instance, when I hear a patient say “I’m going to start going to the gym everyday”. I usually say to them that while I support their enthusiasm and motivation I’d rather see them set the goal of going 3x/week and be successful at that, then to feel that they failed if they miss one day if they say they’re going every day. If they set the goal of 3x/week and make it an extra day, that’s a chance to build extra confidence about themselves and their commitment.
The second piece of how to start is to ‘start’. We often see people delay and delay for so many reasons that getting started never happens. After I get my new job I’ll address my health. When I meet the right partner, I’ll start caring about things again. You can’t wait! You don’t want to make your health dependent on an event that truthfully may or may not even happen. You may not get that new job for a while. The perfect relationship may not happen in the near future. Therefore, do not wait on future events to start addressing YOURSELF.
We don’t necessarily call these excuses, they are the realities that each of us face. But, within the confines of that reality we can do better. And, we can do better now. This is not to say that we are not influenced by our environment and those around us, we are; but, don’t forget that we also influence our environment and those around us likewise by our thoughts and actions.
The truth is we don’t know who gets to see tomorrow. I once read Mother Teresa said, “Make amends each night, especially those you may be at odds with, as you don’t know who gets to wake up tomorrow”. So, get started now! Ironically, you may find that your new motivation and interest in yourself will be the thing that lands you that new job, or helps you meet that great partner
But what if you still can’t get started? If you can’t see your goals yet don’t worry, start with a direction. Although I believe that goal setting is important and there is a lot written about goal
setting and visualization (seeing your end result); sometimes, it is better to start with a direction and get going, then to get bogged down trying to find that perfect goal. Frequently, once you start moving in a direction your goals will start to become clearer.
Wish you the best in becoming Fit, Fearless and Fabulous – Dr V.
