This Valentine’s Day will be two years since I peed on a stick and found out I was going to be a mother. More specifically it was multiple sticks, but that’s beside the point.

I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday. I hadn’t even missed my period yet and was pretty sure it was coming. I had been feeling what I thought were those fun “hey, I’m coming” cramps. I remember noting to Brooke how I didn’t think this month was going to be it. She said to not be so sure since symptoms can often feel the same. She suggested that I try taking a pregnancy test over the weekend (it was Friday at the time) because sometimes it can pick it up a couple days before missing a period. Not wanting to get my hopes up I just decided I would wait it out until after I’d missed it for a couple of days but this wasn’t going to be until well after the weekend. Two days passed and it was Valentine’s Day. I kept thinking about what Brooke had said and was thinking how cool of a Valentine’s gift it would be if I could surprise my husband with news that he successfully knocked me up. He wasn’t home at the time, so I figured this would be a great time to take a test and I ran to the pharmacy to grab a kit. I basically set myself up for failure because its recommended to take a pregnancy test first thing in the morning (when the pregnancy hormone is at its peak) or at least after a natural period of time with normal hydration (to avoid the possibility of dilution). I did neither of these things and took the test at like 10 am after chugging a huge bottle of water…I was too impatient to wait until the next morning and I was really hoping I’d have a fun Valentine’s surprise. I did at least follow the directions of reading the test at exactly three minutes and when I did I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was faint but it was there: two pink lines staring me in the face telling me that I did, in fact, have a bun in the oven. Excitement and shock flooded over me as I paced the house like a caged animal. We had just started trying that month so I couldn’t believe at how quickly it happened. For so many we knew, it took months of trying before they were successful so we had mentally prepared for that sort of possibility. I was in such disbelief that I peed on another stick just to be sure. Positive. Back to the pharmacy I went to grab a Valentine’s Day card aaaaand another brand pregnancy test. After getting home and scribbling a quick something something into his card, and maybe peeing on another stick, all I could do was wait. I felt like a dog waiting for its owner to come home from work, just staring out the window at the driveway waiting for him to pull in. He wasn’t five steps into the house before a card was shoved into his hands to open up where at the bottom it said “P.S. You’re going to be a fantastic father!” He looked up and was like “whaaa??” and my response was “Yea dude,” (every memorable conversation should include the word dude, right?) “it really looks like it I might be” (still not 100% convinced by the three separate pregnancy tests I had taken) and showed him what I’d been up to that morning. After a little celebration and new baby discussion, my first thought was what should I do with my tests? I couldn’t just throw them away! They were the first documentation that we were going to have a little person of our own. I’m pretty sentimental when it comes to hanging on to special trinkets like cards, ticket stubs…memories of things my husband and I have done together. So, how was this any different? Not knowing what I would do with it long term I decided to stick the first test into my nightstand and there it has lived since, occasionally poking its head out as a pleasant reminder of when that sweet little life started.

Up until now the nightstand has been acting as a temporary holding-pen for that little pee stick, but since I’ve been spending a lot more time thinking about waste and ridding my life of excess clutter, I realize its time to decide what to do with it. Do I put it in my husband and I’s memory box for our keepsake? Do I put it in my daughter’s memory box for her to have as a momento of her first sign of life? Or is that just weird and gross? I know a lot of people’s skin crawl over the whole pregnancy test thing since its something that gets covered in urine. I mean the part that got peed on has a cap over it and the rest of the stick was wiped off, but I totally get it. To me its kind of the equivalent of clean underwear. No matter how clean a pair of underwear is, if its not mine, I don’t really want to touch it. Nevertheless, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to dispose of it all together. To me it serves as a symbol for an exciting moment in my life and that’s something I’d like to hold on to forever.

Anyone out there whose mom saved their pregnancy test for them as a keepsake? Any other momma’s hold on to theirs?

xo, Erica