“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
When this quote was shared with me many years ago by my boss (Dr. Valente) my younger self didn’t feel that the thought was entirely true. How can my success or my mannerisms be influenced by the people I choose to spend time with? I am my own person after all, can’t I enjoy the company of someone without absorbing some of their thoughts and views?
The honest answer is, no. Throughout life, I have always been me, with the flavor of whomever I spend the most time with or admire at that time. Sometimes that has been a really awesome version of myself and sometimes that has been a really bad, almost didn’t go to college, version of myself. Thankfully, I avoided those bad versions, like a bad habit.
But, I am exactly what Jim Rohn says, the average of the people I spend the most time with.
I am my husband. There are so many traits we share, some he got from me and some I got from him, but there is one thing from him that totally stands out to me. Before meeting my husband, I was tragically messy. Like, you don’t want to see what my bedroom looked like. I remember very early in our relationship he made the comment that “he couldn’t live in a messy house.” I looooved him like no other, so you better believe on that day I vowed to never be messy again, because I dreamed of keeping his house clean someday. Now, keeping a clean house is second nature, funny how I never forgot that.
I am my mom. I wrote an entire post about the similarities my mom and I share. Even if we didn’t spend as much time together as we do now, I’m sure those influences she’s been giving me since birth would be sticking! My mom gave me the best traits, if I say so, she taught me to be kind first! My mom once told me that she never goes without a pair of earrings, that a friend of her’s once said that she felt naked without her earrings. Ever since then, my mom has always worn a pair of earrings. She was influenced by a friend and then that influence rubbed off on me, not necessarily the earrings themselves, but the jewelry. A piece of jewelry is necessary with every outfit.
I am my kids! How do my kids influence me? My kids encourage me to be carefree and young at heart. My boys make me laugh at silly things and remind me to take in small moments. When I want to be serious and caught up in the day-to-day, they remind me that the most important part of life is enjoying it, not marking off that to-do list! An extension of my kids, is the life that comes with being a mom and the other moms I come across. One fellow mom that has influenced me the most is my other sister-in-law. She is always so prepared, when you have a picnic in the park, she has the plates and napkins and anything else under the sun you can think of. She was the first person to introduce me to places around town that I could take the kids to play or just to get out of the house. She taught me to embrace the #momlife. Because of her, I pack a better diaper bag, plan fun things for the boys and I to do and I feel less guilty when my kid has a full blown melt down in public because she prepared me for that long before I experienced our first tantrum.
I am Erica. Erica is many things to me, a friend, dancing party, blog partner and sister-in-law. Erica inspires me to be more outgoing and adventurous, but very early on she inspired me to be better organized. The first time I opened up Erica’s bathroom cabinets, I think her and my brother were dating and I was looking for a hair tie or a roll or toilet paper or something, I don’t remember. But what I do remember was the ultra organization she had going on in her cabinets! Up until that point, I was used to the messy, throw the hairdryer in and shut the door really fast, cabinets we had at home. Erica’s cabinets had a little cubby for everything. I later found out that she also has really organized and streamlined closets. At the time, I was impressed and thought, that is so not me. But, since that day, through all of these years I’ve subconsciously worked to be better organized and keep my cabinets and closets nice and tidy…just like Erica.
I am my brother. I totally had that “I want to be just like my big brother” thing going on when I was growing up. There is so much about myself, that was picked up from him. My brother always dressed well and paid attention to his health and wellness. It was his influence that encouraged me to become interested in fitness and paying attention to what I put in and on my body!
Because of the people in my life, I am me. I am a determined, well dressed, good mom, that is always striving for better organization. The five people (or groups of people) I currently spend the most time with, encourage me to be the very best version of myself.
So, what about you? Are you the average of the people you spend the most time with? The more important question is, are the people you’re surrounding yourself with, encouraging you to be the best version of yourself?
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